i was trying to read my bible today during lunch and it really got my attention. i was reading about what we had talked about last night (about how we go through stuff, but to rejoice in it because it makes you who you are, and how if you ask God for wisdom, he will give it)
ok, i'm not a very nice person. i realized this today. i asked God for wisdom, and i think he really opened my eyes to a lot of things. i get so upset at little things i have no control over. like, when you are driving, and you are already late, and the SLOWEST person alive decides to pull out in front of you. that makes me angry. but, its pointless to get mad about. and as i was seeing myself for who i really am (while driving 3mph) my mind went to my job situation. now, not all of you know about this, but i have just been frustrated with things that go on at my job. ok, i think this is where the wisdom started kicking in. you know that verse that says, "our struggles are not against flesh and blood"? do you know that's true? now, every time i tried to reason with God about how i was just being taken advantage of at work and how i needed to let them know what i thought of them....my mind went back to that verse. WISDOM
then i started thinking about how i handle myself in different situations. i usually try to hide in the background, and feel like i'm not good enough. well, that verse that says, "you are fearfully and wonderfully made" and "his thoughts of me outnumber the grains of sand" well, that's true too. WISDOM
see, there was a point in my life where i knew all these verses, backward and forward, but i let life get in the way and push them out of my mind. but there is one more verse that i know, "fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the holy one is understanding"
all you have to do is ask, and God will give you wisdom, he will help you understand. he will show you what you need to work on in your life, and he will show you how to fix the things you need to fix. but, ya know, he still loves you. even with all the mistakes, and in my case, eventhough i'm mean and don't trust him like i should to do what he says he's gonna do. ---and by the way, he says he has good things planned out for us.
so, that's what i learned today. hope you guys have a great day! maybe it will snow and you wont have to go to school tomorrow!!!! but, don't count on it! love yall~ brandi

hey everybody. have you ever just had a bad day. i mean, one of those where you just want to run away, or scream to the top of your lungs, or, i don't know, slap somebody (who really deserves it, of course) well, i think we all do. today has been "one of those days" for me.

but, bad and good, you have to keep going. one important thing we all need in our lives is community and relationships. i don't know how you guys are, but, for the most part, i keep everything inside. when i get mad, when i get hurt, when i'm sad, i let it build up until i pretty much explode....this is a bad thing, you shouldn't be this way. but, what i'm trying to say is friends are so important to our well being. if you don't have someone that you trust, someone that you know you can go to, please, please try to find someone. life is hard enough, don't try to do everything on your own. go to someone you know has the same beliefs as you, someone that will let you vent, but keep you in check and encourage you. this is something that i am dealing with right now. but, i know that if i didn't have these people, i would completely fall apart. so, thanks guys for putting up with me, i love yall and i really appreciate you!

ITS FRIDAY!!

i was off work today (yeah!) so i wanted to do something fun. after i realized that i had absolutely NO ONE to hang out with since everyone else was working, i came to terms with reality and decided to hang out with myself....sounds exciting right?
well, i went to this place by the lake that my friends and i used to go to all the time when i was in high school. when i got there i sat on this big rock near the water and just stared out at everything. it was amazing. the water, the trees were all different colors, and you could see the mountains behind all that. i was just sitting there, throwing little rocks in the water and watching it ripple out. i thought about how long ago it was that i was in school, with all those same friends, but how it just seems like just the other day. how i couldn't wait it get out of school and move on to the next step in life, but, even that next step of college was a while back.
now, here i am. i'm 23 and wondering where the next step of life will take me. i think sometimes we get so wrapped up in the next phase of our lives that we miss the awesomeness of the "right now." i felt in my heart that God was saying to me, don't rush it. enjoy this time now, take the time you have to spend and spend it with me. we are never gonna be satisfied with the next new step in our lives, if we cant be satisfied with the one we are in. life is too short to rush through it. stop missing out on what God has given you right now by asking for something you think is even better. after all, God is the one giving it, and, i'm pretty sure he knows what's best!
hope you have a great weekend, love you! ~brandi

SACRIFICE
ok, let me start by saying that on my way home from church tonight, i hit a bat. yes, a bat flew into my car. it was quite the frightening experience. anyway, before i hit the bat, i was thinking about what we talked about tonight. about the whole "what you want isn't always what you need" thing. so true. i know there have been several times where i have really prayed about something, and i thought it was what God wanted for me. that the people or situations that were right in front of me were what God had planned. NOT ALWAYS TRUE. not that these things are "of the devil" just not what God has for ya. i think sometimes God allows things to start to work out in your life, but its up to you whether you jump at the first thing that comes along, or wait until you have real peace about it and know for sure that its right. there's this song that i love and the words are so true:
to you i give my future, as long as it may last,
to you i give my presence, to you i give my past
because, your thoughts are higher than mine,
your words are deeper than mine,
your love is stronger than mine,
this is no sacrifice, here's my life.
i mean really, how many times have we heard, sacrifice yourself...put what you want to the side, go for what God wants. is it really a sacrifice? the God of all creation, the one who knows everything- beginning to end, the one who made you, who knows you, who loves you. the one who planned it all out. is it really a sacrifice to give your life to him, to let him rule it? is it really a sacrifice, or more like, DUH? just a thought.
well, i hope you guys have a great week at school, or work, or wherever else it is you go. i love yall. bye~ brandi

FORGIVEN

when i was in master's, we had lots of rules. at the beginning of the year we had this list of rules that we had to sign. it was our "covenant." well, by christmas time, not one of us had kept the rules. (we were very spiritual, godly people, right?) one night, we all got called into this room. our director passed out the sheets we had signed. one by one, he read the rules and each time he read one that we had broken, we had to rip our paper.

this was a very emotional thing for us. some people got mad, some were ashamed, some people just cried. by the time it was over, all we had was a pile of shredded paper, a pile of broken promises. then, our director went to each one of us, and instead of yelling,(which we completely expected and deserved) he took our papers and on each piece, he wrote the word forgiven and he taped the paper back together.

i know this probably sounds weird, but, for me it really was a glimpse of God. i think about that night sometimes. when i have let myself down, let others down, broken promises to myself, to God.... i know i have talked about this a lot, but, God is so far beyond our understanding. his way of thinking is so above ours. he knows we are gonna mess up, he knows we are gonna fall, and break our promises, but he loves us anyway. and, he is waiting there to pick up the pieces, and put you back together. he forgives completely and puts you back together. i am speaking to myself too, this is something i have to remind myself all the time...but, its true. so, next time you feel like you've let God down, remember that he is not finished making you who you will be. and you are COMPLETELY forgiven, don't take that for granted.

just wanted to say hey. i haven't written in a while. i hope everyone has a great weekend, i know mine will be! you guys be careful and have fun. love ya ~ brandi

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYBODY!

ok, so, we all plan our lives right? you can say you don't really, but, you do. you make plans for college, or family, or whatever it is you want to do for the rest of your life. you have an idea of what you think it will all turn out like. but, what if everything you had planned, never happens? what if what you think you want, isn't what you need, so it never comes to pass? here's what i think. my life is pretty different from what i had always thought it would be. but, when you put your trust in God....all your trust, things change. i've realized lately that i say things a lot without really meaning it. i say, "God has control," but i always try to take control myself, make things happen the way i think it should. but, ya know, i have finally come to the place where i know God knows my future. (i know that sounds pretty stupid to not know that before) but i know now. i know that God gives you the desires of your heart, and if what you are wanting doesn't line up with what God has for you, he's gonna change your mind. i heard someone say once, "God, if you don't want me to have this krispy kreme, take the desire away! ok, i'll eat it" now, thats how we really treat God sometimes....we think what we want, is apparently what God has for us...but maybe it's just us being selfish. and when we get fat from eating, we try to blame it on God and say that it was his "will" for us to have all the junk food we ate. you've got to trust God completely in your life and be close enough to him that when he speaks to you, you hear it. and you know that whatever he does in your life has purpose, and maybe you don't see it now, but you will know it later. i guess what im saying is, be listening to what God is trying to say to you, and dont let you self get in the way of what he wants to happen.